A Beautiful Mess
I’ve changed my blog up a bit, including giving it the new subtitle “Making a Beautiful Mess of Things”. It just fits with my crazy (and perhaps irresponsible) but wonderful life.
My life is chaos and chaotic people all the way, but it’s a manageable chaos. Most of the time.
My dad came over to visit me Saturday. Always interesting. I swear, he rambles on and bullshits and pushes buttons for the sake of pushing buttons but sometimes he’ll come out of left field with the most incredible observations. He’ll blast you with a truth you were only half aware of yourself, or tie the most mundane actions to something deeply psychological. It’s annoying when someone knows precisely what your motivation is for saying or doing something when you haven’t even figured it out yet yourself. Luckily these insights aren’t too common and I can usually snicker and say “Oh please, Dad, not even close.”
I swear, the crap that comes out of his mouth. Like when I started squirming and whimpering because Remiel’s kicks and jabs were hurting like hell and he told me to stop exaggerating because it couldn’t possibly be hurting me. His reasoning was that when he had a lot of gas one day he felt it moving through him and it didn’t hurt. Seriously? Yes, folks, that would be my father on one of his less insightful days. Charming, no?
For those suffering from frequent brain farts, or lacking in good ol’ common sense, please take note: Having gas bubble through your abdomen is NOT the same as having a boney structure stab, push, and drag across layers of muscle and skin that are already pulled taut like a drum. Alrighty then. Glad we got that cleared up.
And now a more interesting topic: Shopping!
A little over a week ago I ordered a necklace from Etsy and I found it in my mailbox this morning. It’s two little peas in a pod and has a disc with Tristan and Remiel’s names on it. Too cute! The letters in the names aren’t as neat and clear as I would like (especially the i’s) but I assume that’s because they are so small and being stamped into metal. Maybe I should have gone with all caps? Also, the chain it came on isn’t the best and I had a bitch of a time working the little clasp, but then again I didn’t pay very much for the whole thing so that’s to be expected. I can always buy another chain if I want something fancy. Overall it’s a sweet little personalized necklace and I’m glad I bought it! Etsy is awesome.
I found Tristan another pair of shoes for this winter, Stride Rite this time, and I absolutely love them! When I put them on Tristan he started dancing around and he didn’t want me to take them off! I’ve mentioned it before but I like the Stride Rite better than the Pedipeds. Even though Pediped shoes have arch support and comfy inserts the Stride Rite shoes tend to be a lot more flexible. We’ll see which ones he likes best once he breaks them in.
I need to go to Texarkana so I can finish the rest of my winter shopping for Tristan. He only needs a few more things so I’m not too worried. It’s cooling off slightly but it’s still pretty warm out.
Last night Tristan said “Uv you!” after I tucked him in and I nearly died! If he had added “Mama” to the end of that I think I might really have collapsed into a joyful weeping mess. This is what I’ve been waiting for! His ‘uv you‘s and dank you‘s make me feel loved and appreciated. Happy. SO happy.
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I’ve been talking about how I need a break from my booger and I think I’ve almost got things arranged so that I can go see a movie with Carissa on Thursday. Woo! I don’t even care what movie. Maybe we’ll even stop at a restaurant and I”ll actually have a meal completely devoid of fussing, crying, and squealing. Whoa…
I can’t even.. I just… You know?
Yesterday I went to visit with my mother for a few hours since she really needs support with what she’s going through. Carissa picked up Tristan and off I went. It’s such a funny combination of relief and intense worry I feel when I’m away from him. I’m always so eager for a break from him but when I finally get it I’m missing him horribly within 10 minutes. When I got home I texted Carissa to let her know she could bring him back but apparently he had knocked out. I spent the hour after that doing absolutely nothing. Just waiting for him. And when he got home I felt an intense rush of happiness that stayed with me for the rest of the day.
It was nice having the chance to miss him a little, to appreciate all the beautiful mess and fuss he makes when he’s home. And it was absolute JOY to get him back. I could gush on and on, but I’ll stop now.
I talked to my father today and we started arguing, debating really but I get worked up sometimes, about some family drama. I just melted down and cried. I don’t allow myself to do that very often and I was a little surprised by all the frantic emotion that came pouring out of me. I’ve been keeping it together so well. I’m certainly stressed out, worried as hell about what I’m going to do, but I didn’t realize I was holding so much in while I was strutting about in my armor. Then I decided, what the hell, I damn well earned those tears.
OH! I am currently without TV. Seriously. I have Dish Network and on Saturday I got an error message on my TV telling me the signal had been lost so I called customer support. They were useless and unable to fix the problem so they said they’d send a technician to my house (the soonest day being Tuesday, and keep in mind this was Saturday). Oh, and that’ll be 15 dollars, Miss.
???
It’s not like 15 bucks is a load of cash or anything, but I’m already paying monthly for their services and it boggles my customer-service-centered brain that I should have to pay 15 dollars more because their shit isn’t working. So now I’m torn between my principles and my love of TV. When I complained about the absurdity of it to the helpful lady on the other line she pointed out that Dish Network would generously replace whatever faulty equipment is causing the problem free of charge. Well, slap my ass and call me Judy! We’re SAVED!
The book I ordered on cultural anthropology came in the mail today. I guess I’ll be reading that instead of watching TV. Probably a more enriching way to spend my limited free time. But how will I distract Tristan while I’m trying to get chores done??? Perhaps he might find the topic of human diversity and responses to challenging globalization issues very interesting. Possibly.
Crap. I’ve only got 3 or 4 kid friendly DVD’s… I’ll have to borrow some from my sister.
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