milestones

03

The Big Boy Bed

Jul
No Comments   Posted by admin |  Category:Remiel, Tristan, milestones

On the same day I had the ultrasound and bought my rifle I also got Tristan his “big boy bed”. The portable crib he’d been sleeping in had a little mechanical malfunction when I tried to collapse it and since I’d been toying with the idea of a toddler bed for a while I decided to just go for it!

The first couple of nights (and naps) ended with Tristan sleeping on the floor. He didn’t fall out of bed, every little thing wakes me up lately so I would have heard and felt the thump, but just decided that he wasn’t comfortable sleeping in this new contraption. I went in to check on him frequently and just hoisted his sleepy butt back into bed, and quickly enough he adjusted.

The first morning I found him snug in his bed after a quiet night I was ecstatic! He’s growing up! He’s turning into a big boy! And it’s a good thing, too, because soon enough my little boy is going to be a big brother. Holy crap, that thought gives me warm fuzzies!

My biggest worry about the toddler bed was that he’d be able to get up and might make mischief while I’m oblivious in the next room. That hasn’t been a problem. When I put him in bed for the night and turn off the light he stays in bed. Nap times are a little more tricky since the room is filled with sunshine and sometimes he finds it harder to stay put. Luckily I’ve become quite adept at recognizing the telltale thump of his little feet hitting the floor and I’m in the room in a flash to insist that he take his nap. I think it’ll help if I get some thick curtains to block out the light at nap time.

I’ve really noticed lately, and find it amusing, that I’ve become so good at interpreting the vibrations his movements make in this house. I can very accurately guess what he’s doing no matter what room I’m in. That bump meant he just plopped in his chair to watch TV. That vibrating patter was him running to the dining room. That thud? Definitely the sound of him flipping over his activity table, which he LOVES to do. And THAT silence? Oh, he’s up to something!

I ordered a cute bedding set and I can’t wait for it to get here, even though Tristan doesn’t really care what kind of sheets he sleeps on. I’ve also been looking for some kind of neat night light for his room. I have the Cloud B Twilight Turtle and I love the pretty stars it makes on his ceiling but I want something that doesn’t automatically turn off after a set time, and something that I can plug into the wall so I don’t have to keep buying batteries. I don’t want your little run of the mill plug it into the outlet type light either because he’ll just pull that out and I want to be able to put his light up on his bookshelf so he can’t get to it. I’ve got a couple of cool ideas but I’ve got to save up.

How am I doing, you so kindly ask? I’ve never been so tired in my life. I feel anemic. I’ll have to have my doctor check my iron at my next appointment because this freaking sucks. Remi (OMG, MY BOY!) has been kicking away, though not as much as before so of course I’m freaked out about that. Even though I’ve read that fetal activity is usually irregular at this point. Try to stop me from worrying, I dare you!

Happy. Tired as hell, but happy.

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22

The Longest Months

Jul
1 Comment »   Posted by admin |  Category:Tristan, content, milestones, stress

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Another woman was talking to me about her children when she suddenly turned to me and said “They grow up so fast!” and I replied, “Really? Because these have been the longest months of my life…” She looked like she didn’t know if she should laugh or frown at me.

Maybe something is wrong with me. Or maybe I’m just an exhausted single mother, not even close to where I want to be in life.

But let’s not wallow (I’m oh so good at wallowing).

Tristan overwhelms me! He goes from comically happy to REALLY pissed off in the space of a few seconds. He reminds me too much of me. He’s so intense and even seems fierce at times, his cherubic face twisting up in concentration as he assesses the situation. It’s as if he’s a man already, trapped in an infants body and not too happy about it. And then he has his silly moments, like in the mornings when he pushes his face against the mesh of his playpen and smiles.

He can’t seem to crawl properly, he only does this kind of commando crawl. He’s been pulling himself up to standing and I can see how badly he wants to walk! The past few days I’ve been finding him sitting up in his crib. I’m thrilled! I can’t wait till he can walk and talk!

And the teething… Oh man. He’s always been on the cranky side but now… I feel bad for him and I hate that he’s in pain, but there are times when absolutely nothing I do makes him feel any better and I want to run away from him and bang my head into a wall. I hate feeling helpless! I HATE that I can’t seem to do anything to make him feel better! His crying has always been hard for me to bear. I don’t know what it is but as soon as he starts up all my muscles tense and I feel frantic.

I love watching him sleep. When he’s asleep and his little body is relaxed, his chubby hand lightly clutching whatever toy he fell asleep playing with, calm and warmth washes over me. I carefully steal the toy, stroke his head to make sure his temperature is normal, and smile the only truly content smile of my day. I survived another day and my beautiful boy is peacefully asleep.

I should be peacefully asleep right now, actually.

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